MaeisforMustache

Mae’s Guide to Growing a Womanly Mustache Volume 1 Chapter 4 The best way to find out which mustache you’ve grown is right for you, is to give each one a test ride. According to many of my clients (some of which were held at gunpoint to give a solid answer) the finest mustache to start with is the Classic Stache. Although rambunctious and noisy in its first stages, once the mustache has been applied to your lip, it will slowly fit to your temporary (and nearly spontaneous) emotions. Take a walk down the alleyway of your local diner. While fidgeting nervously and unsure of what to do on your gloriously mustachified day, your ado

Chapter 3 Once the five days of incubation training has been completed, it is now time to start the physical training. Feel free to pop in a rocky soundtrack CD. Then you should commence in the Italian fist pumping. Now...This isn't so much for your mustachlings as it is for you, since because you've been telling all your friends about growing a mustache you've probably become an outcast in society and spend your days on your couch eating cheetos that...although as they do leave a partially interesting mark on your upper lip it doesnt satisfy your lust for a real mustache.... But anyway it is now time to bond with your mustache.  It is imp

Once your mustachlings are nice and hatched, they will fall off of your face. DON’T WORRY, and please for the love all that is good and mustache, do NOT try and put them back on your face!!! They are not ready yet!!! It is appropriate to keep them in an incubator and feed them protein like shampoo and conditioner for the first five days of their lives. Be careful as to not feed them after midnight, for there is a 69 percent chance that they will turn into...into... BEARDS! Yes… A client of mine couldn’t resist the cuteness of her little red mustaches and she now…has a beard… I had to do the only reasonable

Introduction to the mustache…  Are you spunky, creative, and sometimes obsessively compulsive? Do you enjoy blanketing the skin above your lips with a nice, cozy blanket? Do you ever struggle, trying to cut out small, upper lip shaped blanket pieces? Well, worry no more! I've spent years (4 weeks) on designing the best mustaches for you!! However, before you are able to fully enjoy the mustachasity of the mustache, you must first learn the basics. To grow a womanly mustache, you must begin by lying flat on your back. Just take a few, short, frantic gasps of air and relax. Focus on nothing but growing the mustache. Close your eyes